PSYCHIATRIC HOTLINE
Selection Menu
| Please make a choice from one of the following options... |
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If you are Bipolar, Manic-Depressive:Please press 10. Because you ARE a ten! Ha, ha... Now press 0, since that's what we know you really are. |
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If you have OCD (Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder): Please press 1, repetitively and with increasing frenzy. |
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If you suffer from Co-Dependency: Please ask someone else to press 2 for you. |
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If you have MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder): Please press any random selection of numbers. |
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If you are Paranoid-Delusional: Please press 6-6-6 and remain on the line until the authorities have traced the location of YOUR call. |
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If your diagnosis is Schizophrenia: Please listen carefully for a commanding voice to tell you which number you need to press. |
