In Recognition of Your Obnoxious Attitude, Ability to Piss People Off, Totally Asinine, Juvenile Behavior and Consummate Dedication to Selfish- Personal Gain Without Regard to the Numerous Hardships that You have Inflicted Upon Friends, Family and Others Throughout Your Lifetime... You Have Become a Legend in Your Own Mind.
To Bestow Upon You, a Genuinely Deserved Distinction, from Half-Ass to Complete Ass, Gives Everyone Concerned Great Satisfaction.  Should Anyone, for Any Reason, at Any Time, Doubt Your Status